Requiem
by Aquamarine1212
Summary: "Even the people who never frown eventually break down."- Linkin Park : A Mikey-centered story. Vaguely influenced by "The Same As It Never Was". Description coming soon! Rated T. No turtlecest.


**This.**

**I began writing this with the intention for it to be a one-shot about Leo recovering from his injuries, and then it kind of just ran away. It was going to be a cute little fluffy thing with lots of brotherly love, but then it took a much different turn and somehow this came out. Now it's the first chapter of a story I've been meaning to write for some time. **

**Alright, so a few things you should know about this story is that it's vaguely based on "The Same As It Never Was", as far as the whole 'going forward in time and things are messed up' aspect, but it's not a rewrite of that story in a different universe; this is something totally different. Yes, it is going to be emotional, just as much or more so than this first chapter, so if you don't like the whole drama thing with Leo and Mikey in this first chapter then you should probably just turn around now. Also, there will be absolutely NO turtlecest in this story. Nada. None. Zippo. Anything you might think is turtlecest is brotherly love. Nothing more. **

**Alrighty, now with that out of the way, I can introduce you to my latest creation (laughs evilly), Requiem. For those of you who don't know what a requiem is, it is pretty much a hymn for the dead. Yes, this title does not bode well.**

**Anywho, enjoy this first chapter, and please review. I love reviews. And yes, there's a quote at the beginning but that is simply because it was way too perfect for this. There may or may not be a quote at the beginning of all the other chapters. The quote is by Linkin Park's song, "Pushing Me Away".**

**I do not own TMNT. **

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><p><em>~"Even the people who never frown eventually break down."~<em>

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><p>It had been a very long day.<p>

Leo sighed as he, his brothers, April and Casey walked back the farmhouse. Today's battle had included a tribe of mutant frogs that wanted revenge on the human race for destroying their home; nothing too terribly different from their other escapades. Honestly, he was grateful that they had finally run into something that was along the lines of normal (at least for them) in these woods. So far, nothing in this out-of-the-way place had been peaceful. He had imagined that coming to the woods would at least give them a break from the crazy mutant-hunting they had done in the city, but it seemed wherever they went they brought chaos. Things had been anything but peaceful here.

"-and he busted a sick ninja move! It was totally awesome!" Leo only caught the tail end of Mikey's comment as he came back down to reality. The orange clad turtle's face was bright with excitement, and his eyes sparkled with a playful sort of look. "I think it was the only one he could really do, but it was still totally epic!"

"Why did he always sound so...annoyed?" April asked, cocking an eyebrow. As they walked along, Leo could see the silent battle between Casey and Donnie playing out, both of them fighting for a spot next to April. Their glares spoke a thousand words as they stood off. April of course was totally unaware of this, her attention instead fixated on Mikey.

"Dunno. Guess it's just the way he talks. I mean, none of you ever ask why Raph always sounds angry," Mikey countered, a smug smile tugging at his lips.

"Hey!" Raph growled, shooting a glare at his younger brother. Mikey just stuck out his tongue playfully, knowing he was egging his older brother on but deciding to chance it.

"How are you feeling?" Donnie asked, diverting Leo's attention. "You really shouldn't have been fighting, what with your leg and stuff…"

"I'm fine, Donnie," Leo said with a half-hearted smile. His voice so was much deeper now. It was hard, trying to get used to speaking and hearing a voice he didn't recognize. "I mean, I don't need the crutch anymore-"

"-that doesn't mean you should be running all over the place," Donnie said with a frown. There was Donnie's ''doctor mode' kicking in, "I'll check up on it when we get back to the farm."

"Donatello, I was holding my own fine in that fight," Leo said sternly. "I promise I'll let you know if it starts hurting again, ok?"

"...ok," Donatello said reluctantly. As they continued to approach the old house, and Mikey continued to chatter non-stop, Donnie couldn't help but feel a twinge of unease. Something about his oldest brother had changed since they had came here, other than his voice obviously. Leo from two years ago had been new to this whole leader thing; Donatello almost laughed as recalled to himself some of the ridiculous one-liners Leo had tried to pull off, because 'that's what heroes do'.

But now there was none of that.

He had of course, noticed a gradual change, noticed his oldest brother using less of the stupid cheesy phrases like 'Halt villain!' or 'We are the turtles of justice!'. But then, after leaving the city...it had all simply gone to the wind, no more slowly becoming more and more mature with the rest of them; he had grown up in a day, suddenly becoming an adult and leaving the rest of them wondering what had happened. Of course, Donatello had several theories on how this had happened and why, but nonetheless it bothered him to see his brother so different. He wasn't supposed to grow up until...well, until he grew up.

"What were you doing out there anyways?" Casey asked Mikey, snapping Donnie out of his troubled train of thought. Suddenly everyone's eyes were on the youngest of the four turtles and the group had come to a halt. Mikey's eyes flashed with uncertainty for a moment before he plastered the cheesiest grin possible on his face.

"Um, I was just going to the forest to chillax dudes!" Mikey said, forcing a laugh. "No worries!"

Everyone seemed to be satisfied with this explanation and they returned to their chattering, yet Leo's eyes narrowed briefly. Mikey wasn't one for lying; it was Raph who had taken this art and perfected it, much to Splinter's annoyance. But there was something in Mikey's words that wasn't right. _Why would Mikey be lying?_ Leonardo mused to himself._ It doesn't make sense._ But the falter in his voice and the hesitation had no other explanation.

"You dope!" Raph growled, but there was a hint of affection in his eyes. "You should know by now that God-knows-what freaks are living out in these woods. You can't just wander out there on your own."

"Yeah, sorry Raph…" Mikey trailed off, staring at his feet.

"Oh, don't look like that," Raph said, his eyes softening as he punched his little brother's arm teasingly. "I'm just glad you aren't turtle soup." Leo could see April visibly flinch at the words, and for a moment he was puzzled. _Ah, that's right_. Her first encounter with Karai hadn't exactly been pleasant.

"You ok Red?" Casey had apparently noticed as well. April just casually waved him off, clearing her throat and standing up a little taller as if to try and make up for her moment of weakness.

Leo turned his attention back to Mikey. His younger brother seemed...off. He was trying his best to be as cheerful as possible, and he was doing a rather good job of it, but it wasn't...sincere. Something was bothering him, although what it was, the blue-masked turtle had no clue. He went over the events of the day, trying to pinpoint something in particular that could have set him off. Was he still upset about the whole episode in the living room? Surely not. They had yelled at him several times in the past and Mikey hadn't seemed that upset. Something must have happened in the woods...something he hadn't told them.

Leo resolved that he would confront him later, in private. But for now, the group just trooped home in content, the worst of the day's worries hopefully behind them.

. . . . .

The fireplace flickered, sending restless shadows across the room. Furniture was arranged in a sort of semi-circle around the fireplace, and the brown wallpaper and warm colors of the room made it feel almost cabin-like and cozy. Leo sat in the brown armchair closest to the fire, his eyes closed and his hands folded neatly in his lap. For some reason this room, this chair, the general aura of the place made it a good spot for contemplation. Deep thinking. Leo sighed, trying his best to ignore the ache in his leg. It was true he had made it through the fight today, but it was also true that he had pushed his limits. He couldn't cut back though, not when he was finally free from that wretched crutch of his. His brothers needed him now more than ever, with Splinter gone. At the thought of his father, his sensei, his throat tightened. After a moment of internal battle, the blue-masked turtle opened his eyes and sighed. His futile attempt at mediation had only made way for more troubled thoughts.

Staring into the flames and watching them do the strange, intricate dance that only they seemed to be able to accomplish, Leo felt a strange sense of distance. Where had the days gone when he had messed around with his brothers, been foolish and carefree? Now he felt like he was in a separate state of mind. The fights he used to have with them, which had seemed to come so naturally back then, now seemed petty and not worth the time or effort; child's fights. The ridiculous things they had done no longer held any appeal for him.

He sighed, staring at his knees. He wasn't hardly past seventeen. Far too young to be already acting like an adult. He didn't want to grow up, simply put, and now that he had, he wished that he could go back. Back to being awkward, geeky, still-figuring-this-out Leo. But his brothers didn't need that. They needed a leader they could rely on. When they left this farmhouse, they were going to finish the fight with Shredder, with the Kraang, once and for all.

"Hey Leo!"

Leonardo looked up, snapped out of his trance to see Mikey passing through, a bowl of...some sort of mixture of foods, in his hands. "The afternoon cartoons are on if you wanna come watch them with us," he said casually, already on his way out of the room.

"Mikey, hold up," Leo said, glancing at him out of the corner of his eyes but not moving his head. Mikey paused mid-step, freezing almost instantly. Slowly, he tilted his head curiously.

"What Leo?" Mikey said, frozen mid-step.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Leo asked, turning to face his youngest brother now, head-on.

"Uh, sure," Mikey said, staring at Leo with a mixture of curiosity and caution. Slowly, he made his way over, ditching his food mercilessly on one of the end tables, then sitting down in the chair opposite to Leo. For a moment there was silence, and Mikey shifted restlessly, his eyes darting to everywhere but his older brothers face. Leo kept his gaze locked hard onto Michelangelo.

"Earlier, when you said you went into the forest to...'chillax'," Leo closed his eyes, carefully going over his next words. He knew he had to be gentle about this. "That wasn't the whole truth, was it?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, dude," Mikey laughed forcibly. Leo opened his eyes and found, to no surprise, that Mikey's green skin had turned a few shades paler.

"There was another reason you left the house, wasn't there?" Leo sighed. He really didn't want to do this, but he couldn't help his younger brother if he didn't know what he was upset about. "Will you tell me or will I have to force it out of you?"

"Ok, you caught me," Mikey laughed, but his eyes were still nervous. "There, um, was, er, I was trying to...find the mutagen that spilled in the forest back with Mom-thing!" He grinned, obviously proud of the lie he had conjured up. "I figured maybe you guys wouldn't be so mad at me if I found it, and you'd forget about the mess I made in the living room!"

"Mikey," Leo said in a low tone.

"And, you see, I was also trying to, um, get some more wood, for the fireplace!" Mikey said, a cold sweat breaking out on his forehead. His eyes were growing more and more panicked by the minute.

"Mikey," Leo's voice was harsher this time.

"I have a secret girlfriend!" Mikey spouted out, his eyes frantic.

"MICHELANGELO!" Leonardo yelled, suddenly standing up. His voice was loud and raucous and it echoed softly against the walls for a second, then silence ensued. Even the noise in the living room had stopped, the distant chatter of his brothers suddenly stopping. Mikey bit his lip, staring at the ground. Sighing, Leo sat down again, holding his leg and grimacing._ Standing up so quickly didn't do my injuries any favors._ He couldn't remember the last time he had said his little brother's full name, and for a good reason too. Nobody used his full name except Splinter, especially when he was angry.

"Mikey, don't lie to me," Leo said firmly, leaning his elbow on the arm of the chair and massaging his forehead gently. "I want to know why you're upset. I want to help you."

"Why would you even care?" Mikey suddenly said, turning his face away from his older brother. His voice trembled. Leo was taken by surprise at his brother's sudden outburst, and a frown marred his features.

"Why would I care-?" Leo blinked, genuinely confused. "Because you're my younger brother, Mikey. Because I want you to be happy. Because I don't like seeing you upset." Mikey's face remained shrouded from view and he absentmindedly pulled at his fingers, a nervous habit he had picked up from Donnie.

"Really?" Mikey said. "Because I thought after the thing with Dimension X, and Leatherhead, and the portals...well...but it was just back to mess-everything-up Mikey, like I thought. You guys are always yelling at me and I'm always screwing up-"

"Mikey, you aren't a screw up," Leo said firmly. "You are as smart and as skilled as any one of us."

"Can we please just be done?" Mikey's voice trembled with anger, an emotion that Leo hadn't even thought bouncy, sunny, happy-go-lucky Mikey could even have. "I don't want to talk right now."

"Mikey, tell me what's wrong," Leo said in a tense voice. "You aren't leaving this room until I know what's going on."

"Look, I'm just a little upset at you guys for yelling at me earlier," Mikey snapped. "Ok?" Leo sighed, half relieved and half annoyed. _Honestly, of all the things to get all worked up about._

"Mikey, you made a mess in the living room. You can't expect us to be happy about that. And it's not the first time either," Leo pointed out.

"But you don't have to be so mean about it!" Mikey said, his voice cracking. "And-and it's not just that, when I get those bad feelings about people, like I did with Mom-thing, you guys tell me I'm wrong but I always turn out to be right! You're always telling me I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupid, all the time, it's all I ever hear you say!"

"Mikey-" Leo began, but his frown quickly deepened. "Mikey, look at me." Mikey's face remained turned away, and he curled his knees up to his chest, not responding. "Mikey, don't make me use your full name again. Look at me and tell me why you went into the woods in the first place. Whatever happened out there, whatever you were doing, I can help. Please, just look at me."

"No," Mikey said, his voice wavering.

"Mikey, please. I only want to help," Leo pleaded. He was growing tired of this game.

"You couldn't help," Mikey said with a small, bitter laugh.

"That's it," Leonardo growled, standing up. "I'm tired of this. You tell me right now-"

"FINE! You wanna know what I was doing out there?!" Mikey suddenly whipped around, revealing his tear-streaked face. His blue eyes were filled with emotion and his lip trembled. "I was running away! Are you happy now?!"

The words were like a bolt of lightning. Leo stared, shocked, at the now crying face of his brother. His baby brother. Suddenly every ounce of impatience and frustration melted away and his eyes searched the youngest turtle's face for some sort of lie, but he could find none. The words ran through his head and he felt his stomach drop. _My brother, my youngest brother...Oh God no_.

"Mikey…" Leo's voice cracked as his eyes flickered across Mikey's freckled face and his sky-blue eyes. "Oh Mikey."

"None of you care about me! You never have! You probably wouldn't have even noticed if I left," Mikey was nearly sobbing now. "Admit it! ADMIT IT!" Now he was screaming through the tears and Leo was almost scared that the orange-masked terrapin might have a mental breakdown. "You don't want to say it but it's true, it's all true-"

"Mikey, no…" Leo said softly. Each word was like a blow to his heart. How could he have let this happen, let his brother think he wasn't wanted? He reached out to rest his hand on Mikey's shoulder but Mikey furiously smacked his hand away. Leo flinched more than he should have.

"And you most of all Leo!" Mikey sucked in a quick, clipped breath. "You never talk to me, you hardly ever team up with me when we split up, you barely even look at me! The only time you ever notice I'm there is to lecture me! Even Raph at least _tries_ to do stuff with me!"

Leo could only stare in shock and wish he could crumble into a million peices.

"You're a great leader, and I've always looked up to you-" Mikey bit back another sob, "But you've never hung out with me just because you _wanted_ to. It's always to stop a fight or to scold me or make sure I'm behaving. You treat me like I'm-like I'm-like I'm too stupid to understand anything! I hate you, I hate you-"

"Mikey, that's not true-" Leo started, his voice hitching, but Mikey suddenly cut him off in a fit of rage.

"YOU DON'T LOVE ME!" Mikey suddenly screamed, pointing accusingly at his oldest brother.

Leonardo couldn't speak. He swore that the whole world just stopped, that his heart just suddenly stopped beating and in that moment, every single part of him died.

Mikey stared at him a few seconds more, his breaths coming out in gasps, before he suddenly broke off, running out of the room, not even bothering to hide the tears streaming down his cheeks. He ran out the door, past his other two brothers, April, and Casey, who had come when they had heard the yelling. Donnie's expression was pitiful as he reached out to grab Mikey's wrist, but the youngest brother jerked away and sent his older brother a glare as cold as ice, then rushed up the stairs. There was a slam of a door, then silence.

Before Leo knew it, everyone had crowded around him.

"What the heck happened, Leo?!" Raph growled, his eyes blazing.

"What's wrong with Mikey?" Donnie asked, his hands twitching as if he were preparing to grab medical equipment.

"I told you!" April's voice rang out clear. "I told all of you, but would you listen? No!"

Leo tuned them out and instead of answering, fell back into the chair, his eyes vacant. _My baby brother. My baby brother._ Leo's throat constricted and he closed his eyes, burying his face in his hands so he didn't have to look at the faces of the people around him. He tried to take deep breaths, tried to calm himself, but there was nothing that could stop the onslaught of emotion that hit him like a wave. The words played over and over in his mind, like a broken record.

_You don't love me._


End file.
